As Chris and I wind down our time at the farm, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on the experience. In so many ways it has been absolutely amazing and a once in a lifetime opportunity. However, there have also been some incredible challenges that I definitely think Chris and I have both grown from. At the very least my preconceived view of Ecuador is drastically altered.

Below is a list of some of my good, bad, and ugly take-aways from the farm. I also added an awesome category as there were definitely some things that are better than good.

Also, as a side note, Chris and I have decided to leave the Farm a weekish early. We are both sad to go but as we really wanted to spend time in the Amazon and this could be our last chance, we are heading out. On Monday we will be headed to a Lodge outside Coca (a 10 hour bus ride followed by a two hour canoe trip!) to see the monkeys, Anacondas, and piranhas. See you in a week!

The Awesome

• The people. They truly are some of the nicest, warmest people you can ever meet. It really has been fascinating to get a glimpse into their day-to-day lives; what they eat for breakfast, how they do laundry, what their weekends look like, how kids get to school. It all has been incredibly interesting to observe and has deeply challenged some of my ingrained stereotypes. It also has overall made me contemplate not so much our differences in cultures but rather our deep similarities and how everyone pretty much just wants the same thing, to provide their children with a happy and comfortable life.

The town of Cuellaje.

• The food really is muy rico (means very rich and is the compliment one gives to a chef). Simple, fresh, and nutritious, Virginia is an amazing cook and I will definitely miss her plantain fritters.
• Experiencing a people who are fairly if not entirely self-sufficient. I know I mentioned it before but Chris and I are in complete awe of this and are all of a sudden very aware of how in trouble most Americans would be if their buying power ever ran out.

Coffee beans ready to be picked.

• Watching Virginia and Amable after 40 years of marriage, 9 children, and so many grandchildren, they can’t even keep count. They are constantly conversing, working in perfect harmony together, and sharing joy in the farm and whatever family is currently visiting. Amable is a very affectionate man and he is always putting his arm around Virginia and teasing smiles from her. Virginia on the other hand seems to be able to tell what Amable wants before he knows it, and it is obvious she takes great joy in caring for him and her family. It really is beautiful to see and I wonder if their life away from TV and Internet (in other words distractions) has forced them to rely on each other for entertainment and joy, instead of these superficial past times.

The Good

• Learning about how the farm operates, including how to make Panilla (cane sugar), coffee, seeing the what appears to be haphazard, though I am sure it’s not, lay-out of the fields, raising of the cuy, and everything else.

Chanchos (pigs) and Coy (guinea pigs). The farm we stayed at also raised cows, chickens, and a rooster.

• The weather. It is always in or around the 70’s and with a mix of beautiful sunshine and intermittent clouds and fog, it’s as near perfection as you can get. (At least during summer, supposedly the winter is a non-stop barrage of cold rains.)
• No internet. It’s been great being away from this for a while (going through detox and all) and having some serious time to do nothing but relax.

The view from Amable and Virginia’s front portch, my favorite place to sit and relax.

• The children. Every child I encounter is incredibly polite and seems to have an innocence that children in the US just don’t have. It is so refreshing to see children who still play outside, get dirty, and can make a toy out of nothing more than a rock.
• The fresh fruit that hangs from every tree. It’s so fun tasting all the crazy fruits I’ve never heard of.

Chris and my favorite fruit, Garandillo (sp?). This fruit is incredibly hard on the outside, you break it open by hitting it against a tree and contains a super sweet fruit that looks like fish eggs. 

The Bad

• The language barrier. Since the community is very secluded and has had limited amounts of foreigners within their boundaries, they have very little experience dealing with foreigners and don’t always understand to use simple language with us. This makes it incredibly difficult for communication and there are definitely some feelings of isolation.
• So while the food is really good, it does get old. We eat rice, beans, and potatoes at pretty much every meal and I am definitely ready for a change!

Sugar Cane

• Cold showers and bug bites! While superficial, incredibly annoying.

The Ugly

• The treatment of Gringos or Whiteys. This is probably one of the most frustrating things that we have encountered. In Ecuador, like most places, light skinned people are held in greater esteem and we are therefore, constantly being coddled, especially by our host family. (Though I am sure this is also exasperated by our guest status.) Our family very seldom wants us to work, and then only light, easy work, is deeply concerned we might get hurt, and always wants us to eat first off the nicest dishes. It also makes me very aware that on the opposite side of our cushy treatment is a deep racism that runs through the country towards the Indigenous peoples and the Afro-Ecuadorians. (I have heard that upwards of 80% to 90% of these communities live in poverty and have very little say in the government or their treatment.)
• The treatment of dogs and animals in general. Animals are just that, animals and they are expected to perform duties with very minimal care given to them. While they don’t go out of their way to mistreat their dogs, there is definitely the occasional kick or smack if they do something like wander into the kitchen. This is incredibly difficult for me to stomach and I am constantly trying to figure out a way to stop this.
• The strict male/ female roles. While I deeply admire the women and their devotion to their families, it is incredibly difficult for me to see women who are expected serve their men non-stop and who always put themselves last, including not eating till they make sure all the men will have enough food. This is obviously a deeply complicated issue (and one that runs rampant across the world, including in the US) and it makes me long to speak Spanish so I could more deeply understand their feelings towards it.
• And last but not least the lovely stomach problems that accompany eating in a developing country! Ughers!

Amable and Virginia’s farm. The little white dot in the middle is their home and they are surrounded by their farm, which stretches as far as the eye can see.

Our home in Ecuador.

Wholesome food + 8+ hours of sleep a night + no TV or Internet + lots of fresh air + free time to enjoy it + daily exercise = life on the farm. While this is definitely an amazing and wonderfully healthy life, what Chris and I didn’t realize was that first we would need to go through basically a detox period.

For the first week here, I had a constant feeling of stress in the back of my mind and in the pit of my stomach. At first I couldn’t figure out what was causing it and just chalked it up to being in a new place. However, one night as I was lying in bed and my mind was racing, I realized that this was the first time in an incredibly long time if ever, where I wasn’t going to bed with a huge list of todo’s on my mind. My whole job in life at that moment was to sleep and holy crap was it a weird feeling.

In California, even if we were relaxing or on vacation, we always knew there was something we should be doing instead. It made it really difficult to truly relax. Added onto that is the fact that you are constantly connected. Chris and I spent the majority of our “extra” time cruising the internet and I was definitely addicted to my smart phone. (Seriously used to have dreams where my phone would buzz and then I would wake up and immediately check my email.)

As a result, at least I am guessing it is, Chris and I spent a good portion of our first week and half on the farm sleeping. I literally slept for almost 10 hours a night and would take a nap mid-day as well. It often felt like my mind and body were getting rid of toxins and it made me realize how unhealthy part of our life in California was. Just how stressful Americans seem to make their lives. Now getting past the feeling that I should be doing something or checking in with someone or something is incredibly hard. I often have to physically force myself to sit still or not run for the iPod or book to occupy my mind. But the more we take the time to sit and watch the sun go down, without worrying about what is coming tomorrow, the more we both realize how much we want this in our lives. Chris and I have been spending a ton more time talking to one another, something we sometimes forgot to do in our busy, technology based lives, and we are definitely growing closer in our relationship. Families and communities here are so close, including couples, and I do think part of it is that they spend a good portion of their evenings, if not their days, talking and laughing together.

The view from down the street of Volcano Imbarra. Taking time to actually enjoy our surroundings has been amazing. Of course it helps to be looking at beautiful jungle covered mountains instead of concrete and cars.

While a bit of stress is good and I still love the internet, there needs to be a balance and I think Chris and I have both decided to make this a priority when we get home. Whether or not we will be able to, especially in a culture where if you ask someone how they are, their immediate response is “Oh I am so busy” as they keep their eyes peeled on their cellphone, will be interesting. Especially if I get an iPhone this time…

Over the last couple weeks, one of the things that I have enjoyed the most has been the opportunity to spend time with the women of Cuellaje. They truly are some of the most competent and most welcoming women I have ever encountered and I am constantly in awe of them as they go about their day-to-day lives.

I know my life in the U.S. is different, that the majority of women in my world just don’t have to take on the same jobs that women here do. And I want to say I am often in awe of women in the U.S. as well as they take on raising children, holding jobs, and so much more. But there is something truly inspiring about the women I’m encountering here in Cuellaje. So many of us in the U.S. just wouldn’t be able to survive if it wasn’t for the ability to buy everything we need and hire others to solve many of our problems. It is incredibly powerful to me to see people who can completely provide for themselves and even more so to see women who I truly think could keep their families and communities safe, comfortable, and well fed with just a few seeds and a machete. (Seriously if there is a Zombie apocalypse, it´s going to be the people in the farming communities who survive the longest! Those machetes are lethal!)

In an earlier post, Chris mentioned that most days the men head out to the fields for the day while the women work around the house, preparing food and taking care of the house. This of course brought up some jokes since I don´t cook at all and have never had any desire to learn, so really what in the world am I doing all day. Well since Chris is a man, he forgot a bit about what “women´s work” in Ecuador really means. It’s not a matter of throwing clothes into the washing machine or going to the grocery store (both of which are things I absolutely hate doing in the U.S.) but here you do everything from scratch by hand. For example, take coffee. If you would like a glass or would like to serve it to others, that will involve going out and picking the beans off the trees, peeling the beans (they do have a hand grinder for this), washing the beans by hand and then leaving them roast out in the sun for a few days, keeping a close eye on the weather for rain. Oh and I guess you probably planted and grew those coffee trees as well.

A woman’s responsibilities include feeding the pigs, coy (guinea pigs), and chickens. They do all the planting, cultivating, and picking of the crops for meals (including climbing trees barefoot to get to the juiciest fruit), and then they are responsible for cooking it all, cleaning up afterwards, and somehow also finding time to help the men out with the cash crops and taking care of the children.

While I definitely won’t say that life in the U.S. is better, we definitely have our own challenges and hardships, basic survival is not something most of us really concern ourselves with. For a great many Americans basic comforts are taken care of and we have free time to put into other endeavors. However, that’s just not the case here, as a woman’s day really never ends and that´s what makes the women here so amazing to me. Even with all their work keeping their families healthy and fed, they still take the time to make them and everyone around them happy. They make coffee, something that could easily be skipped, and cook people’s favorite meals, even though Tamales take way more work than a typical meal. They tell jokes and laugh with their neighbors and are always ready to help those in need. And above all else they take it upon themselves to take two complete strangers into their home, two strangers who can barely understand them, and make them feel welcome and part of the family.

So Chris and I have been in Cuellujue for close to two weeks now. So far it has been a wonderful, albeit frustrating at times, experience. We very often have no idea what is happening around us, language/culture barrier, and just have to be ready to go along for the ride. It’s a practice in patience and has been an incredible learning experience in just enjoying and embracing life.

Our host family is wonderful, probably some of the warmest, most welcoming people I have ever met, and we spend a lot of time just kind of following them around and asking questions in broken Spanish. Virginia, the Grandma/Mom, is a warm, welcoming woman, who is always trying to make life a little bit more comfortable for us, especially if it involves food, and who can definitely out climb, hike, carry, and work us by far (even though I am guessing her age to be well over 60). Amable, the Grandfather/Dad, is exactly as his name would surmise (amable is kind in Spanish). He is warm, with an infectious smile and laugh and is always ready to tease a smile out of you. He enjoys nothing more than showing us something new on the farm and seems to have great pride in it and his family.

Lecho, their grown son, is an incredibly hard worker who seems to be a master at organizing what needs to be done on the farm. He also takes after his parents in kindness and has been fantastic in helping Chris and I learn Spanish and communicate. There are also the numerous, so numerous in fact that when I asked them they didn’t know how many, grandchildren who are in and out of the house all the time. They are all amazing teenagers, who help around the house and joke around with their grandparents.

Their home is nice though simple compared to those we are used to. Vanity is definitely not something they worry about and everything here is very basic and function oriented. The house is made of wood with some concrete walls and consists of a kitchen, dining room, and three or four small bedrooms. There is indoor plumbing (which most homes have here) with a flushing toilet and a shower (though boy is it cold!). They have a gas stove, though still use the fire one for some things, a refrigerator, and even have a blender. (For some reason this is the one electronic kitchen appliance that every home I have seen here has adopted. I am guessing it is because they make so much juice.) It’s definitely a middle to upper-middle class family as they also have a truck, something very few families here have. (Though it really is a necessity for them as their farm is comprised of at least 4 different lots over an hour apart.)

It’s definitely an interesting place. Since the land is so fertile, it seems that as long as you have a bit of it and work hard, you can at least grow enough food to feed your family. Most of the families I have encountered have all of their basic comforts met, enough food, a roof over their heads that doesn’t leak (well too much), and a toilet, but really have very few extras. Of course this is a gross over-generalization as I know there are still many Ecuadorians living in poverty and things could change for families here as quickly as the weather.

Overall I am excited to spend the next few weeks here and see how things go. I have a feeling we will get a lot out of it but it really is too early to tell. At the very least we will get some great stories out of it, the very least of which was riding in the back of a milk truck up the side of a mountain.